My Pathway to Freedom...
So, who am I really? It has taken me quite some time and dedication to get to a place where I can answer this honestly. Who I am was covered up by who I thought I was supposed to be, what people wanted me to be, and what society told me I didn't want to be. We all start so young giving up our authenticity for attachment (aka we want to be seen, loved, and valued) and we do whatever that takes as children to "be good". So, I had to get really curious about why I was the way I was, what didn't I know about myself, and had to be brave enough to go out into the dark, holding up my lantern, looking for myself.
I asked myself, "Who was I before the world told me who I should be?? Who was I before the story?"
What I found is that I am a Mystical Empath...
I feel and sense EVERYTHING!! My heart so deeply cares about all people, animals, and the earth but the world was not made for people like me so I froze many aspects of myself that didn't fit in the box. I grew up in a funeral home like Veda from the movie "My Girl" or the show 6 feet under. Can you imagine someone who feels everything being in a house of grief, death, and spirits? I froze. I shut down all my energy centers, my emotions, my senses, and ultimately blocked my connection to my Higher Self. I came in with beautiful psychic gifts that were not nurtured or valued, got me into trouble for "knowing", and made me extra weird, so I too shut them all down at such a young age. When we shut down our energy, we shut down large portions of our life force energy, so I had to find where I left parts of myself and awaken them.
Here are some of the big stops on my journey you may be able to relate to...
This is who I am right now and I am ALWAYS growing and changing.
I asked myself, "Who was I before the world told me who I should be?? Who was I before the story?"
What I found is that I am a Mystical Empath...
I feel and sense EVERYTHING!! My heart so deeply cares about all people, animals, and the earth but the world was not made for people like me so I froze many aspects of myself that didn't fit in the box. I grew up in a funeral home like Veda from the movie "My Girl" or the show 6 feet under. Can you imagine someone who feels everything being in a house of grief, death, and spirits? I froze. I shut down all my energy centers, my emotions, my senses, and ultimately blocked my connection to my Higher Self. I came in with beautiful psychic gifts that were not nurtured or valued, got me into trouble for "knowing", and made me extra weird, so I too shut them all down at such a young age. When we shut down our energy, we shut down large portions of our life force energy, so I had to find where I left parts of myself and awaken them.
Here are some of the big stops on my journey you may be able to relate to...
- I feel, sense, and am "too much" (that is my truth)...I have spent my whole life not understanding why everything feels like it's "too much". Living in my highly sensitive, psychic body that notices everything in a world was not made for people like me has been a lot to digest and overcome (still overcoming and always learning). I am someone who loves everyone fiercely, feels every ounce of every sad movie, and embodies music like it was written only to my heart - because I can see all of you and I experience everything as it was created- with a level of Soul.
- I thought I was alone here...I relate to a mystical way of life more than any other way. I see and know things that other people seem to miss. When my therapist said I was an Empath it sent me on a research path like no other. I needed to know all the things. I noticed the clients I was attracting were also Empaths. The research took me to all the reading of Highly Sensitive People that lead me to information on Indigo children and Starseeds! Parts of me could not believe there were other people here on earth that were misfits like me! Other wonderfully weird souls! (I thought I must find all of them and bring them together in a loving community! :)
- I am complex...I love to learn and I am good at many things. I am an old, old soul (My whole life my best of friends have been "retired" :) I am the oldest of 5 children and have all that parentified child energy (my siblings call me mother hen). I have always been wise and capture the embodiment of the priestly advisor/sage. I am a lover of animals and the earth, a cosmetologist (25 years), psychotherapist (14 years), reiki master, visionary, event planner, shamanic practitioner, soul midwife, photographer, breathworker, stargazer, medical intuitive, and a psychic medium. How's that for complex?! (aka multidimensional ;)
- My love language is adventure...Give me all the experiences the world has to offer! Travel is my real soul mate and addiction. My heart bursts with all things possible by going to new places! I am all about kinesthetic energy - taste, smell, and sounds! And all things weird, sacred, metaphysical, and that bring aliveness. Sunset is my favorite color. Purple sage, lilac, and autumn are my favorite smells! Lemon, Lime, and Pumpkin are my favorite flavors. My favorite travel moment is being in Key West where every night at Mallory Square everyone stops what they are doing to watch the sunset...followed by a round of applause. (Be still my heart!)
This is who I am right now and I am ALWAYS growing and changing.
Chasing Rainbows...
I have been on a journey for two decades exploring the ways that we grow and heal more deeply. When I think back, it started like a Dora the Explorer type of journey that quickly started feeling more like Outlander or Harry Potter! And I stayed on the safe paths as I followed the supposed-to's to all the graduations that lead me to a Master's in Counseling. I quickly knew I wanted more than what academia could give me as I questioned the limited way we were learning and really exploring healing on all levels (it seemed too surface level to me). So, I went on a search for how did people heal before Freud and those who wrote my counseling theories books?
Some of the major stops on this journey have been asking things like...
"How did people in ancient cultures heal?"
"When did we start bypassing and intellectualizing our emotions?"
"What is the mind-body connection?" (As I learned nothing about the body in college.)
"And can someone please tell me...If we are made of energy, and everything is energy, then where does our energy body fit into all of this healing?!?" (Crickets...)
Long story short, what I found is we grow and heal through "experiences", not through theory. That our Ego, personality, and patterning is made up of what the world handed to us as children and now we get the opportunity to revamp who we are. I learned that our body is one of our biggest teachers and must be included in our awakening. And that we are multi-layered, multi-dimensional humans, so when people say healing looks like an onion- that is a great image for our bodies, life- long stories, and armoring...But I also think of a huge Oak tree...Winding deep down into the earth, branches to sky, connected to all the trees. We are complex and we are simple...Both/And.
Some of the major stops on this journey have been asking things like...
"How did people in ancient cultures heal?"
"When did we start bypassing and intellectualizing our emotions?"
"What is the mind-body connection?" (As I learned nothing about the body in college.)
"And can someone please tell me...If we are made of energy, and everything is energy, then where does our energy body fit into all of this healing?!?" (Crickets...)
Long story short, what I found is we grow and heal through "experiences", not through theory. That our Ego, personality, and patterning is made up of what the world handed to us as children and now we get the opportunity to revamp who we are. I learned that our body is one of our biggest teachers and must be included in our awakening. And that we are multi-layered, multi-dimensional humans, so when people say healing looks like an onion- that is a great image for our bodies, life- long stories, and armoring...But I also think of a huge Oak tree...Winding deep down into the earth, branches to sky, connected to all the trees. We are complex and we are simple...Both/And.
We Go First
Collectively we are finally waking up! When we are healing ourselves, we are healing everyone and everything around us. Those of us that are here to create change on the planet- we came in as advocates, visionaries, hsp's + empath's - We have this beautifully tough opportunity the change the frequency of our families, workplaces, and the world. Say it with me...WE GO FIRST. We must ground ourselves to the earth and release where we do not feel free inside.
The women who work with me get results in connecting to a larger life + opening their hearts to deeper acceptance of what it means to be on a path that feels like TRUTH. Helping you reconnect + embrace your authenticity is my JAM, because I wholeheartedly believe that your uniqueness holds the key to your brilliance. You can see my obsession with learning and all my gold stars below, but they are such a small part of what I needed to grow into myself.
I want to end as I normally do...hand on heart and by expressing gratitude. I am so honored to be a witness to the people that have crossed my path. I don't think there are mistakes when we cross paths or meet along this journey. This awakening work is such a sacred journey and to be a part of your unfolding is my greatest gift.
I want to end as I normally do...hand on heart and by expressing gratitude. I am so honored to be a witness to the people that have crossed my path. I don't think there are mistakes when we cross paths or meet along this journey. This awakening work is such a sacred journey and to be a part of your unfolding is my greatest gift.
Gold Stars:
- I am a registered therapist on Dr. Elaine Aron's Highly Sensitive Person website.
- LCPC- Kansas Licensed Clinical Professional Counselor
- Licensed Kansas School Counselor Pre K-12
- Internal Family Systems Inspired Life Coach
- Master's Degree in Rehabilitation Counseling
- Master's Degree in School Counseling
- Bachelor's Degree in Rehabilitation Education
- Advanced Clinical Heart-Centered Hypnotherapist from The Wellness Institute
- Therapeutic Breathwork Coach- Level 2 (Currently in Level 3)
- Certified with HeatherAsh Amara as a Warrior Goddess Training Facilitator + Warrior Heart Facilitator
- Trained Educator for The Gottman Institute
- Certified Mental Health Integrative Medicine Provider (CMHIMP)
- Heart Math Certified
- Trauma Specialist
- Meditation + Yoga Nidra Teacher
- Certified Medical Intuitive
- Certified in Play Therapy, KC Play Therapy Institute
- Energy Healing Facilitator trained in in Access Consciousness, Vibrational Healing, & Reiki Level 1 + 2
- Licensed Cosmetologist (since I was 19!)
"Highly sensitive beings suffer more, but they also love harder, dream wider, and experience deeper horizons + bliss. When you’re sensitive, you’re alive in every sense of this word in this wildly beautiful world. Sensitivity is your strength. Keep soaking in the light and spreading it to others.”
— Victoria Erickson
— Victoria Erickson
My Personal Awakening
I had my first cosmic 2x4/wake up call in 2008 while in grad school. I was knee deep in theories class when Eckart Tolle's book A New Earth came into my life (Thank You Oprah!). It opened me to theses bigger questions...What if all the things I believe about who I am are not true? What if there was a different way?
That scared the shit out of my ego-mind and army of inner protectors that love to remind me that we ONLY do things that fell SAFE. So I stayed on the linear life path and did all the "supposed to" things = Master's degrees, Marriage, and Micro-Managing Myself to look like I have it all together! Until one day I just broke. It got to heavy and too exhausting!!! And I realized the world was not made for people like me. It is too fast, too fake, + to egocentric. So I quit the "supposed to" life.
I used my last paycheck to go to a 6-day intensive training (imagine it like signing up for trauma-recovery bootcamp!) I craved a life I knew had to exist and I was ready to fight for it. Those 6-days cracked me wide open and what it shined light on were ALL of the UNEXPRESSED emotions of my entire life, years of "holding" it all together led to chronic pain (I thought I had Lupus)...here I was looking through the glass window of my frozen life. I made a commitment to do my inner work and I quickly started softening + defrosting - it was tough stuff and it was the MOST FREEING thing I had EVER experienced! I gave up a life of things that I thought I could not live without for a life most people could not understand. I knew that for me to move forward I had to let my old self or my "supposed-to self" identity be laid to rest and I had to remember who I really was before the world got ahold of me.
Next, I flew to Sedona, Arizona to attend Warrior Goddess Training. Out in the middle of the desert, under the milky way, another round of life-changing events took place as I spent 5 days in a sacred container with HeatherAsh Amara and 55 other women. She was an apprentice to Don Miguel Ruiz who wrote The Four Agreements and was sharing her Toltec Shamanism magic that continued to blow my mind to open to a larger horizon. Here I was surrounded by women who were ready to do life differently - all were experiencing a spiritual awakening.
Little by little, I showed up to work with myself. With every skin shed there was more inner space. And that space offered me a new set of eyes when looking at what my body needs. I allowing my nervous system to breathe and set boundaries. I worked to feel all of the spectrum of sensations and feelings and had to stop intellectualizing them. I had to learn to sit in silence, open to my heart, and reconnect with life-force energy. Essentially, I learned how to come home to myself. And that is what I want to help everyone do. As the constriction and solidity shifted I had room for more of myself that allowed me to have more mystical experiences and a true remembering of aspects of myself that were buried underneath my frozen, survival energy. And things just kept getting cooler and cooler on this Harry Potter/ Starseed/ Psychic bus ride!
I have also had the best teachers! I say that with so much enthusiasm because they are my lifelines. Being part of conscious groups of beautiful humans is like being in webs of love + truth telling that always support me to stay awake to what I don't see. Who would I be as a conscious leader if I didn't know in my own body what freedom feels like?
That scared the shit out of my ego-mind and army of inner protectors that love to remind me that we ONLY do things that fell SAFE. So I stayed on the linear life path and did all the "supposed to" things = Master's degrees, Marriage, and Micro-Managing Myself to look like I have it all together! Until one day I just broke. It got to heavy and too exhausting!!! And I realized the world was not made for people like me. It is too fast, too fake, + to egocentric. So I quit the "supposed to" life.
I used my last paycheck to go to a 6-day intensive training (imagine it like signing up for trauma-recovery bootcamp!) I craved a life I knew had to exist and I was ready to fight for it. Those 6-days cracked me wide open and what it shined light on were ALL of the UNEXPRESSED emotions of my entire life, years of "holding" it all together led to chronic pain (I thought I had Lupus)...here I was looking through the glass window of my frozen life. I made a commitment to do my inner work and I quickly started softening + defrosting - it was tough stuff and it was the MOST FREEING thing I had EVER experienced! I gave up a life of things that I thought I could not live without for a life most people could not understand. I knew that for me to move forward I had to let my old self or my "supposed-to self" identity be laid to rest and I had to remember who I really was before the world got ahold of me.
Next, I flew to Sedona, Arizona to attend Warrior Goddess Training. Out in the middle of the desert, under the milky way, another round of life-changing events took place as I spent 5 days in a sacred container with HeatherAsh Amara and 55 other women. She was an apprentice to Don Miguel Ruiz who wrote The Four Agreements and was sharing her Toltec Shamanism magic that continued to blow my mind to open to a larger horizon. Here I was surrounded by women who were ready to do life differently - all were experiencing a spiritual awakening.
Little by little, I showed up to work with myself. With every skin shed there was more inner space. And that space offered me a new set of eyes when looking at what my body needs. I allowing my nervous system to breathe and set boundaries. I worked to feel all of the spectrum of sensations and feelings and had to stop intellectualizing them. I had to learn to sit in silence, open to my heart, and reconnect with life-force energy. Essentially, I learned how to come home to myself. And that is what I want to help everyone do. As the constriction and solidity shifted I had room for more of myself that allowed me to have more mystical experiences and a true remembering of aspects of myself that were buried underneath my frozen, survival energy. And things just kept getting cooler and cooler on this Harry Potter/ Starseed/ Psychic bus ride!
I have also had the best teachers! I say that with so much enthusiasm because they are my lifelines. Being part of conscious groups of beautiful humans is like being in webs of love + truth telling that always support me to stay awake to what I don't see. Who would I be as a conscious leader if I didn't know in my own body what freedom feels like?
Other recent weavings of work that I bring in:
- The Journey Intensive with Brandon Bays
- Moving through the Pandemic: Collective Grief Work
- Family Constellations Work
- Healing Your Attachment Wounds: Dare 1 with Diane Poole Heller
- Vibrational Healing + Medical Intuitive Certification with CJ Martes
- Dance, Trauma, & Transformation
- Subtle Energy Training with Yvonne Christman
- Treating Complex Trauma with Internal Family Systems (IFS): Certificate Training
- Certified Mental Health Integrative Medicine Provider (CMHIMP) Training Course: Nutritional and Integrative Medicine for Mental Health Professionals with Leslie Korn
- Herbalism with Good Earth Gatherings
"We waste so much energy trying to cover up who we are when beneath every attitude is the want to be loved, and beneath every anger is a wound to be healed and beneath every sadness is the fear that there will not be enough time. When we hesitate in being direct, we unknowingly slip something on, some added layer of protection that keeps us from feeling the world, and often that thin covering is the beginning of a loneliness which, if not put down, diminishes our chances of joy. It’s like wearing gloves every time we touch something, and then, forgetting we chose to put them on, we complain that nothing feels quite real. Our challenge each day is not to get dressed to face the world but to unglove ourselves so that the doorknob feels cold and the car handle feels wet and the kiss goodbye feels like the lips of another being, soft and unrepeatable.”
-Mark Nepo
-Mark Nepo