“All healing journeys begin and end in the body.”
― Gabrielle Roth

The Dance of Being Born a Healer...

I was born a healer. I mean I literally came out of the womb listening, paying deeper attention, and loving with a huge heart that cares so deeply about all people, animals, and the earth. I am also a classic Empath so I feel, sense, and know things even more deeply than most. 
I also came in with a bigger vision. I love learning and will always be a life-long student and passionate researcher. It is my favorite thing to understand how humans work! (We are so interesting and there are so many parts and pieces!) I have been on a journey for two decades exploring the ways that we grow and heal. When I think back, it started like a Dora the Explorer type of journey that quickly started feeling more like Outlander or Harry Potter!

I stayed on the academic path as I followed the supposed-to's to all the graduations that lead me to two Master's in Counseling. I quickly knew I wanted more than what academia could give me as I questioned the limited way we were learning and really exploring healing on all levels (it seemed too surface level to me). So, I went on a search for how did people heal before Freud and those who wrote my counseling theories books?

Some of the major stops on this journey have been asking things like... 
  • "How did people in ancient cultures heal?" 
  • ​"When did we start bypassing and intellectualizing our emotions?"
  • "What is the mind-body connection?" (As I learned nothing about the body in college.)
  • "And can someone please tell me...If we are made of energy, and everything is energy, then where does our energy body fit into all of this healing?!?" (Crickets...)

Long story short, what I found is we grow and heal through "experiences", not theory and that our Ego, personality, and patterning is made up of what the world handed to us as children and now we get the opportunity to revamp who we are. I learned that our body is one of our biggest teachers and must be included in our awakening. 

The Dance of Uncovering My Truth...

Let's go deeper shall we? We are deep people! So, who am I really? The closest thing I can share to describe who I am is if Lisa Frank and Harry Potter had a Baby :0) In all seriousness, it has taken consistent inner work and dedication to uncover my truth and to understand that I am who I am which isn't something stagnant but something fluid. I am always changing and becoming more of who I am. ​

“The voice I finally heard that day was my own–the girl I’d locked away at ten years old, the girl I was before the world told me who to be–and she said: ​Here I am. I’m taking over now.”
― Glennon Doyle (Untamed)

Who I thought I "was" covered up by who I thought I was supposed to be, what people wanted me to be, and what society/ church/ school told me I didn't want to be. We all start so young giving up our authenticity for attachment (aka we want to be seen, loved, and valued so we lose ourselves), and those of us who have shame stories in our ancestral lines - l would do whatever it takes to be "good" and not hurt someone's feelings or be selfish (oh the kryptonite!). So, I had to get really curious about why I was the way I was, and what didn't I know about myself, so I could be brave enough to go out into the dark, holding up my lantern, looking for my truth.

I gently held my heart and curiously wondered...
  • Who I was before the world told me who I should be??
  • Who would I be if I was fully alive and free?
  • Who would I have been if I would have came in with a magical guidebook ;) and my parents would have seen that I actually am this magical child?!
  • And then where in time did I leave myself to become someone else?
So I kicked off my healing and embodiment journey with the intention to find and heal "little me". I began seeing a hypnotherapist and doing regression work to help unthaw the life of freeze and bring safety back into my life. I also started practicing breathwork that allowed more space to open internally.

As parts and pieces started to come back to life I then started to trust that I was safe enough to feel my feelings more. Our inner children are directly connected with our stuck emotions or in other words our emotional body is actually our inner child. (Read that again)

​What still fascinates me is that so much of my pain, hiding, and codependent patterning (all of our collective family patterning) is all a bunch of old generational trauma that was not even mine to carry! It showed up as dissociation, chronic pain and tension migraines, and immobility to make decisions and really being terrified of really being alive. I started seeing that my adult personality was just a compilation of childhood coping skills (aka people pleasing, sacrificial lamb, and the classic "I don't need anything or anyone" trauma).​

“We trade authenticity for attachment and this becomes our ideal identity–our default avatar. We try to prove it by behaving in alignment with our ideal identity, that we are worthy of being loved and accepted. We also receive it from those around us, information on what loses us that acceptance, love, and approval, and so these become our shadow selves–our unwanted identities.”
― Tanya Valentin

Just like Joan of Arc did...my soul parts whispered for me to remember...Who am I really? WHO am I? I am a Soul having a Human experience and "I'm not afraid, I was made for this!" I knew in my heart that I did choose this life of learning for a reason and I really want experience and savor every ounce of it. I signed my name in permanent ink to no longer abandon myself in this lifetime. I knew this was going to be tough stuff, but I had no choice but to jump! I was at this place of there was no going back "there". Everyday I choose to be here and to be fully alive which means - I am here to feel all the play, pleasure, pain, and the glorious energy of possibility! And to do that I had to unfreeze my body and remember who I was before the story. 

​I am here. I am here. I am here. ​

​“To become a great teacher, one must become a teaching.”
― Gabrielle Roth

Collectively we are finally waking up! When we are healing ourselves, we are healing everyone and everything around us. ​I am here because I have had the best teachers! We need guides on this journey! Being part of conscious groups of beautiful humans is like being in webs of love + truth telling that always support me to stay awake to what I don't see. Who would I be as a conscious leader if I didn't know in my own body what freedom feels like?
 
I love shining light on all my favorite human teachers...thank you, thank you, thank you. 
Jim Krieder, Renee Brown, Jim Morningstar, HeatherAsh Amara, Ellen Winner, Tom Gigliotti, Kathy Barringer, Yvonne Christman, Adam Roth,  Laura Weber, and Susan Miller. (Thank you for being my everything!)
The heart-centered humans I work with get results in connecting to a larger life + opening their hearts to deeper acceptance of what it means to be on a path that feels like TRUTH. Helping you reconnect + embrace your authenticity is my JAM, because I wholeheartedly believe that your uniqueness holds the key to your brilliance. You can see my obsession with learning and all my gold and rainbow stars below, but they are such a small part of what I needed to grow into myself. ​

​I want to end as I normally do...hand on heart and by expressing gratitude. I am so honored to be a witness to the people that have crossed my path. I don't think there are mistakes when we cross paths or meet along this journey. This awakening work is such a sacred journey and to be a part of your unfolding is my greatest gift. ​

Lovingly,

Gold Stars for Education 

  • I am a registered therapist on Dr. Elaine Aron's Highly Sensitive Person website.
  • LCPC- Kansas Licensed Clinical Professional Counselor 
  • Licensed Kansas School Counselor Pre K-12
  • Internal Family Systems Inspired Life Coach​
  • Master's Degree in Rehabilitation Counseling
  • Master's Degree in School Counseling​
  • Bachelor's Degree in Rehabilitation Education
  • Advanced Clinical Heart-Centered Hypnotherapist from The Wellness Institute​
  • Attachment and Trauma Specialist
  • Trained Educator for The Gottman Institute 
  • Collective Grief Work Specialist
  • ​Certified in Play Therapy, KC Play Therapy Institute​
  • Licensed Cosmetologist (since I was 19!)

Gold Stars for Stepping Out of the Box...

  • ​​Therapeutic Breathwork Coach- Level 2 (Currently in Level 3)​
  • Family Constellations and Psychodrama Facilitator ​​
  • Certified Mental Health Integrative Medicine Provider (CMHIMP)
  • Meditation Teacher
  • Yoga Nidra Teacher
  • Heart Math Certified Trauma Specialist 
  • Energy Medicine Trained in... 
    •  Access Consciousness
    • Certified Medical Intuitive
    • Vibrational Healing
    • Reiki Levels 1 + 2
    • Subtle Energy Practitioner 
    • Akashic Field Therapy
  • Shamanic Practitioner
  • Other fun things I have trained in...
    • Past Life Regression and Past Life Therapy Practitioner
    • Dance, Trauma, & Transformation trained​​
    • Certified Herbalist with Good Earth Gathering​
"Highly sensitive beings suffer more, but they also love harder, dream wider, and experience deeper horizons + bliss. When you’re sensitive, you’re alive in every sense of this word in this wildly beautiful world. ​Sensitivity is your strength. Keep soaking in the light and spreading it to others.”
— Victoria Erickson

The Dance of Being a Highly Sensitive and Intuitive Empath...

  • I feel, sense, and think that I am "too much" (which I now embody as my truth :)...I have spent my whole life not understanding why everything feels like it's "too much". Living in my highly sensitive body that notices everything in a world was not made for people like me has been a lot to digest and overcome (still overcoming and always learning). I am a trance medium so this all makes sense now. My body is wired to be to much :) I am someone who loves everything fiercely, feels every ounce of every sad movie, and embodies music like it was written only to my heart - because I experience everything as it was created- with a level of Soul. 
  • I thought I was alone here...I relate to a mystical way of life more than any other way. I see and know things that other people seem to miss. When my therapist said I was an Empath it sent me on a research path like no other. I needed to know all the things. I noticed the clients I was attracting were also Therapists who were Empaths. The research took me to all the reading of Highly Sensitive People that lead me to information on Indigo children and Starseeds! Parts of me could not believe there were other people here on earth that were misfits like me! Other wonderfully weird souls! (I thought I must find all of them and bring them together in a loving community! :) 
  • I am complex...I love to learn (hear me say that with all of my being as it is my favorite thing!) and I am so good at so many things that my life has been confusing when it comes to "what is my purpose". I landed in psychotherapy because human behavior is so freaking interesting! We are all so complex!!! I have been a cosmetologist for 25 years, a psychotherapist for 14 years, and I have all of these other certifications that I have threaded together. I am a reiki master, event planner, shamanic practitioner, soul midwife, photographer, breathworker, medical intuitive, and will be so much more. How's that for complex?! (aka multidimensional ;) that's me.
  • I am ancient...I am an old, old soul (My whole life my best of friends have been "retired" :) I came onto the planet already old, wise, and truly captured the embodiment of the priestly advisor/sage. I am also the oldest of 5 children and have all the "parentified child" bossy and sacred momma caretaking energy. 
  • My love language is adventure...Give me all the experiences the world has to offer! Travel is my real soul mate and addiction. My heart bursts with all things possible by going to new places! I am all about kinesthetic energy - taste, smell, and sounds! And all things weird, sacred, metaphysical, and that bring aliveness. Sunset is my favorite color. Purple sage, lilac, and autumn are my favorite smells! Lemon, Lime, and Pumpkin are my favorite flavors. I have snorkeled in Hawaii, Danced in the Desert under the Milky Way, Fire Walked (3x), and sat in many sacred Sweat Lodges. My favorite travel moment is being in Key West where every night at Mallory Square everyone stops what they are doing to watch the sunset...followed by a round of applause. (Be still my heart!) 
  • I am a dancer...The more I moved my frozen body, the more my hips opened, the more I found myself. I have danced since the age of 3. Every weekend I danced in group then in private ballet, tap, and jazz lessons until I was 13. Then I became a cheerleader, choreographed routines, and later danced on the high school dance team. I spent my 20' on a dance floor at the dance clubs and then took ballroom & salsa lessons with my ex-husband for years...BUT I DIDN'T identify as a dancer or someone who danced? I am using this as an example of how frozen we can be in our bodies and how we select who we are. I couldn't see that part of myself clearly as something I have worked really hard to learn because it is valued the same as academics. In 2016, I walked onto an ecstatic dance floor and met my body again for the first time in way to long. Little by little and with so much patience and gentle care, she (my body) started taking over the dance. Then covid locked us all back down into deep freeze. So I had to remember I knew how to come out again. One day recently I was so wrapped up in grief that the only thing I could think to do was start dancing. I danced for weeks with the grief until I found my inner child that loved ballet and my inner teen that snuck into dance clubs and let her take the wheel! They showed me and helped me remember that it is MY body that is the tool to freedom and it remembers everything - the good, the bad, and the truth. We are here together to experience EVERYTHING. (So if you want to remember with me I linked my Spotify on the home page to support you to move with me! My hand is reaching for yours ; it's time to unfreeze my love!)

The Dance of My Personal Awakening...(so far ;)

In 2008 while in grad school I was knee deep in theories class when Eckart Tolle's book A New Earth came into my life (Thank You Oprah!). I had never witnessed anyone with energy like his...sacred, soft, and ancient. It opened me to theses bigger questions...What if all the things I believe about who I am are not true? What if there was a different way? The funny thing is what happened next is I enrolled in a chakras and stones class and I had no idea what it was? I was 28 years old and living in the middle of Kansas!! I had no idea why I was signing up? And it blew my circuits!!! (What?! We have an "energy body"? We are made of ENERGY?) And my nerdy wonderfully-weird self was forever changed. 

All of this sort of scared the shit out of my ego-mind and army of inner protectors that love to remind me that we ONLY do things that fell SAFE. So I stayed on the linear life path and did all the "supposed to" things = Master's degrees, Marriage, and Micro-Managing Myself to look like I have it all together! Until one day I just broke.

I am an entrepreneur and have worked for myself since the age of 19 - so "the real world" got too heavy and too exhausting very quickly!!! I realized this world was not made for people like me.

It is too fast, too fake, + to egocentric. So I quit. I waved my white flag and quit the "supposed to" life. All of it. 

I used my last paycheck to go to a 6-day intensive training (imagine it like signing up for trauma-recovery bootcamp!) I craved a life I knew had to exist and I was ready to fight for it. Those 6-days cracked me wide open and what it shined light on were ALL of the UNEXPRESSED emotions of my entire life, years of "holding" it all together led to chronic pain (I thought I had Lupus)...here I was looking through the glass window of my frozen life.

I then made a 2 year commitment to do my inner work and signed the line for an intensive internship with The Wellness Institute in Seattle and in the Hocking Hills of Ohio. I quickly started softening + defrosting - it was tough stuff and it was the MOST FREEING thing I had EVER experienced! I gave up a life of things that I thought I could not live without for a life most people could not understand. I knew that for me to move forward I had to let my old self or my "supposed-to self" identity be laid to rest and I had to remember who I really was before the world got ahold of me. Then came facing the "density" in my body where I was unconsciously holding a lifetime of repressed emotions, chronic tension, and heart-closed rigidity. This was my soft-girl era :) or my inner child work phase...years of deep, deep shadow work and healing with amazing souls from all over the country. 

Next, I flew to Sedona, Arizona to attend Warrior Goddess Training. Out in the middle of the desert, under the milky way, another round of life-changing events took place as I spent 5 days in a sacred container with HeatherAsh Amara and 55 other women. She was an apprentice to Don Miguel Ruiz who wrote The Four Agreements and was sharing her Toltec Shamanism magic that continued to blow my mind to open to a larger horizon. Here I was surrounded by women who were ready to do life differently - all were experiencing a spiritual awakening. Then I stayed on the Shamanic path doing all sorts of studying and trainings.

I knew I needed to know more about energy so I studied quantum physics, medical intuition, akashic records, and have spent years in reiki classes, vibrational healing, and wanting to know all the things!!! 

Little by little, I showed up to work with myself and with others in new and complex ways. With every skin shed and every inner child recovered there was more inner space and a new level of compassion and caring for myself. This space offered me a new set of heart-shaped glasses when looking at what my body really needs. Allowing my nervous system to breathe and set boundaries was huge for caretaker me.

I have worked super hard to surrender so I could start to feel the spectrum of sensations and feelings and I had to stop intellectualizing them. I had to learn to sit in silence, open to my heart, and reconnect with life-force energy. Essentially, I learned how to come home to myself. And that is what I want to help everyone do. As the constriction and solidity shifted I had room for more of myself that allowed me to have more mystical experiences and a true remembering of aspects of myself that were buried underneath my frozen, survival energy. And things just kept getting cooler and cooler on this Harry Potter train ride at 9 3/4's! 

Thanks for taking the time to feel and read about who I am. May you also find courage to walk your wonderfully weird path my friend. Ask for your teachers. We need all hands and hearts on deck. 
"We waste so much energy trying to cover up who we are when beneath every attitude is the want to be loved, and beneath every anger is a wound to be healed and beneath every sadness is the fear that there will not be enough time. When we hesitate in being direct, we unknowingly slip something on, some added layer of protection that keeps us from feeling the world, and often that thin covering is the beginning of a loneliness which, if not put down, diminishes our chances of joy. It’s like wearing gloves every time we touch something, and then, forgetting we chose to put them on, we complain that nothing feels quite real. Our challenge each day is not to get dressed to face the world but to  unglove ourselves  so that the doorknob feels cold and the car handle feels wet and the kiss goodbye feels like the lips of another being, soft and unrepeatable.” 
-Mark Nepo