“Every time you don’t follow your inner guidance, you feel the loss of energy, loss of power, a sense of spiritual deafness.” - Shakti Gawain
I had forgotten how to dream. I realized one day that anything I had dreamed of “becoming” wasn’t in a job description or a “major” or a degree at a college. I like doing many things but none of them looked like the boxes I had been given.
I am a bridge to something more. A Radical Ambassador for you to remember and recover the magic that lives inside of you. A torch holder to bring to light who you really are. I’m a Heart Healer. A Storyteller. A Soul Mama to other Empaths. A bridge between worlds. So there was not a path for me. The journey has been the path. Every puzzle piece, every intuitive hit, everytime I had to listen to follow change that was going to be painful- I keep following my heart.
Once I stopped trying to keep it all together and started healing, unfreezing, and feeling my body again - I realized how much of my magical self I had toned down to “be normal”. To try to feel a sense of belonging or not look like I’m too much. I have known since I was a child that I am not here to play small but I live in this very sensitive body that was so scared of hurting peoples feelings and getting a bad review if I create something. So I have had to do a LOT of inner work (and always will) with these parts and the walls I have put up to stay safe.
As a child the only image of a job I wanted was to be like Oprah. She (and Mr. Rogers) were the storytellers of my childhood and my first therapists! She embodied a deep curiosity and listening ear that I saw myself in. She brought light to the pioneers and the change makers on the planet. I still want to be her. I feel that dream inside of me to create bigger change.
Today I spent 3 hours in a recording studio just to play with the nudge from my intuition that it’s time to move towards this dream. It was so FUN!! And such a beautiful feeling to take the step on a path that feels right in my body. Eventually it will become a podcast but today it’s just the first step. It’s those steps that build capacity in our nervous systems. Our nervous systems are directly linked to our sense of safety which is linked to our inner child. The creative energy inside of us is also the doorway to remembering our magical inner child who is waiting to be seen, values, and her magic excavated. I said to her today as I hit record…”Here we go sweet pea! Let’s make some magic so we can invite everyone to remember their magic!” And yes I’m grinning ear to ear. #theysayimjustadreamer (I can't be the only one ;)
Something that is always so interesting is how we “hold on” to people, things, jobs, etc. I realized long ago how a lot of the time it’s the story we created around the subject that we want to hold on to. I remember Brene Brown talking about her parents divorce and how it wasn’t that they were letting go of one another but it was that nothing was ever going to be the same again. (I had to pull the car over because my inner children agreed on the deepest of levels.) Because we create story around how our lives “should” be it can be so devastating to release and the reason we hold on so tightly as change is so hard.
We are story telling beings. We love it! Most of the stories we create are based in fantasy and the illusion of safety- which makes sense to some degree - because we do want to feel safe- and it is so painful when the story isnt the truth, isn’t alive anymore, or it was another version of ourselves that chose that story based on fear verses connection. There can be a lot of “shadow work” in these areas.
I often ask myself “in this movie of your life Cassie, how is “that” (relationship, job, choices) going for you?” I have to zoom out a lot. I have to ask a lot of questions. I need other eyes to help me see what I can’t see about myself.
For all of you that are too serious like myself it could be helpful to ask…Are you in the tragedy of drama or the divine comedy?
Some of us don’t realize we are waiting for permission to change. Permission to say no. Permission to do it differently. Permission to create something new. Permission to let go. Permission to listen to our hearts. Permission to show up for yourselves and follow your dreams.
What keeps us stuck? Fear.
For example, if we are seen for choosing the “helper” line of work we might like being seen and valued for “that” verses does it still feel good in my body? Is there another way? Or we all have been fed the “fairytale” relationship story so we create our own story to stay in places that aren’t really aligning with who we are now but we don’t want to be honest about the true story because it’s painful.
Some of our biggest collective fears are to have no purpose and to be alone.
To let go means to enter into a death/rebirth cycle that allows change. Sometimes big change. Uncomfortable change. And we fear that energy so we stay. Even though that is not comfortable either. We need support to help us see clearly sometimes. Our answers are not going to come from our head. Our head is full of old information. Our heart is the new brain. It touches possibilities and has connection to our soul.
We can be at war with ourselves if we aren’t able to zoom out and ask questions. Our souls can be like - I’m ready let’s go! And our bodies can be like - the hell we are!! Even though we are meant to be continuously growing. We are always changing - look at nature.
What boxes are you in and are they serving you? I think about this often when I give myself permission to step out of all the boxes I unconsciously stepped in as a child and adult. When I didn’t know there were other options other than the few I could see in front of me.
Cheers to breaking all the rules! And living a life that breathes deeply and whispers...you are motion, energy, and evolving change sweetheart.
Visionary for a New Kind of Earth