There is so much beauty in watching things let go. As I write this I saw a single leaf fall off the branch and surrender into the unknown. Nature is our biggest teacher in witnessing the process of release. As I stood on a street corner to take this photo, I was in awe of how the designs being made in these leaves were reminding me of doilies at my grandmother's house. (Then I giggled thinking of how long it’s been since I have seen one ;) The energy is tangible of something falling apart yet in its delicacy there is still so much beauty.
This inspired me to look back and reflect to last year at this time. I have spent the last year moving through deep layers of love, and grief, and lots and lots of sitting in the unknown. It is SO UNCOMFORTABLE to be in this middle place of not knowing what comes next! But it such a gift and a wise teacher. The grief opened me and created space for my heart to keep getting louder and louder.
The spaces inside my body have been slowly shapeshifting into something new. My body is tired but my gorgeous heart has been rebuilding from a deeper place. My heart, which was already ancient and deep, has entered the place of “knowing” in surrender and trust (that I had no idea was even possible). My heart now knows her worth. She knows she will not settle for anything less than magic and mystery because she spent way too many years in fear and fantasy. I knew a year ago when I left my old life that I had to do this alone. I had to land in the space to truly falling in love with myself and being my own best friend. I had to look into the face of the fear of being alone and move through that with my body. I understand now that I had to completely die so that the next chapter of my magical life could be written from a higher place of love.
I am a dreamer and a visionary and my life is so precious to me. Every day, every choice is sacred. I choose to show up for myself in it ALL so that I can say I lived the width of this existence. On my 80th birthday I will start my speech off by saying I spent it all! I spent my life fully. I will say I touched and experienced everything I wanted to. I loved hard and deep. I attracted people into my life who were the angels, mentors, and friends who held me through it all in reciprocal energy. I will look into the eyes of everyone there and remind them that they are truly made of magic and stars but for this short time that we are here - this body is made of earth - and our connection to her and her beauty - even in the death- is everything we need to know.
We are all evolving every single day. We are shapeshifting in a fluid motion where we are staying in alignment with our heart's path. It does not make sense most of the time. But when we learn to listen to the urges, the sparkles, and the yearning, we can live a magically spent life. I invite you to follow along with me as I write the new chapter. I am creating all things new love, life, business, and dreams.
“Every time you don’t follow your inner guidance, you feel the loss of energy, loss of power, a sense of spiritual deafness.” - Shakti Gawain
I had forgotten how to dream. I realized one day that anything I had dreamed of “becoming” wasn’t in a job description or a “major” or a degree at a college. I like doing many things but none of them looked like the boxes I had been given.
I am a bridge to something more. A Radical Ambassador for you to remember and recover the magic that lives inside of you. A torch holder to bring to light who you really are. I’m a Heart Healer. A Storyteller. A Soul Mama to other Empaths. A bridge between worlds. So there was not a path for me. The journey has been the path. Every puzzle piece, every intuitive hit, everytime I had to listen to follow change that was going to be painful- I keep following my heart.
Once I stopped trying to keep it all together and started healing, unfreezing, and feeling my body again - I realized how much of my magical self I had toned down to “be normal”. To try to feel a sense of belonging or not look like I’m too much. I have known since I was a child that I am not here to play small but I live in this very sensitive body that was so scared of hurting peoples feelings and getting a bad review if I create something. So I have had to do a LOT of inner work (and always will) with these parts and the walls I have put up to stay safe.
As a child the only image of a job I wanted was to be like Oprah. She (and Mr. Rogers) were the storytellers of my childhood and my first therapists! She embodied a deep curiosity and listening ear that I saw myself in. She brought light to the pioneers and the change makers on the planet. I still want to be her. I feel that dream inside of me to create bigger change.
Today I spent 3 hours in a recording studio just to play with the nudge from my intuition that it’s time to move towards this dream. It was so FUN!! And such a beautiful feeling to take the step on a path that feels right in my body. Eventually it will become a podcast but today it’s just the first step. It’s those steps that build capacity in our nervous systems. Our nervous systems are directly linked to our sense of safety which is linked to our inner child. The creative energy inside of us is also the doorway to remembering our magical inner child who is waiting to be seen, values, and her magic excavated. I said to her today as I hit record…”Here we go sweet pea! Let’s make some magic so we can invite everyone to remember their magic!” And yes I’m grinning ear to ear. #theysayimjustadreamer (I can't be the only one ;)
Something that is always so interesting is how we “hold on” to people, things, jobs, etc. I realized long ago how a lot of the time it’s the story we created around the subject that we want to hold on to. I remember Brene Brown talking about her parents divorce and how it wasn’t that they were letting go of one another but it was that nothing was ever going to be the same again. (I had to pull the car over because my inner children agreed on the deepest of levels.) Because we create story around how our lives “should” be it can be so devastating to release and the reason we hold on so tightly as change is so hard.
We are story telling beings. We love it! Most of the stories we create are based in fantasy and the illusion of safety- which makes sense to some degree - because we do want to feel safe- and it is so painful when the story isnt the truth, isn’t alive anymore, or it was another version of ourselves that chose that story based on fear verses connection. There can be a lot of “shadow work” in these areas.
I often ask myself “in this movie of your life Cassie, how is “that” (relationship, job, choices) going for you?” I have to zoom out a lot. I have to ask a lot of questions. I need other eyes to help me see what I can’t see about myself.
For all of you that are too serious like myself it could be helpful to ask…Are you in the tragedy of drama or the divine comedy?
Some of us don’t realize we are waiting for permission to change. Permission to say no. Permission to do it differently. Permission to create something new. Permission to let go. Permission to listen to our hearts. Permission to show up for yourselves and follow your dreams.
What keeps us stuck? Fear.
For example, if we are seen for choosing the “helper” line of work we might like being seen and valued for “that” verses does it still feel good in my body? Is there another way? Or we all have been fed the “fairytale” relationship story so we create our own story to stay in places that aren’t really aligning with who we are now but we don’t want to be honest about the true story because it’s painful.
Some of our biggest collective fears are to have no purpose and to be alone.
To let go means to enter into a death/rebirth cycle that allows change. Sometimes big change. Uncomfortable change. And we fear that energy so we stay. Even though that is not comfortable either. We need support to help us see clearly sometimes. Our answers are not going to come from our head. Our head is full of old information. Our heart is the new brain. It touches possibilities and has connection to our soul.
We can be at war with ourselves if we aren’t able to zoom out and ask questions. Our souls can be like - I’m ready let’s go! And our bodies can be like - the hell we are!! Even though we are meant to be continuously growing. We are always changing - look at nature.
What boxes are you in and are they serving you? I think about this often when I give myself permission to step out of all the boxes I unconsciously stepped in as a child and adult. When I didn’t know there were other options other than the few I could see in front of me.
Cheers to breaking all the rules! And living a life that breathes deeply and whispers...you are motion, energy, and evolving change sweetheart.
Today there was a gift at my door from a beautiful soul and I wanted to share the energy with all of you. She was here from Germany obtaining her US citizenship so she could "bridge her two worlds" she said. For the last 6 weeks she has been coming to my Monday morning breathwork class where it was her last time to come before she headed back home. It was just her and I so we sat on the floor of the studio and never got to the breathwork because we needed to simply “be” with one another and really “see” each other in our truth. We needed to open our hearts and speak from a place that most of us rarely feel safe enough to do. As we both showed up of course the energy supported us to open even more and as I looked at her I thought how in the world did this woman end up here?! With me? Trusting me with her soul?
I shared with her that I keep seeing France in my meditations and I’m not sure how I’m going but it feels like it may happen soon. She tells me about this monastery on an island in the sea that she would take me to when I visit. She shares her visions, her dreams, her heart.
So what does she do next? She drops off a bag of French goodies, some poetry about her breathwork experience, and this card. (above)
BE STILL MY HEART!
I sobbed to be seen in the way that I see others.
I sobbed that she took time to honor my dream.
I sobbed because we are soul connected and the universe conspires for our hearts to gift one another with our unique gifts.
I sobbed because all of us have trauma around not being valued and having someone take a deep level of interest in who we are (at every stage as we are always changing).
The gift truly is in the safety.
The gift is in the nervous system to feel safe.
The gift we all need is inside.
May you build your capacity to breathe deeply and open your heart to real connection.
Hello dear Soul,
How is your breath right now???
What if you made it a little deeper + more full?
What if you breathed right into your heart?
Your heart is a big bright sunshine full of love and light and you can access it anytime by placing your hand there and breathing into it….
When we touch the heart, we become human. We spend so much time in survival mode and in our heads that we are not connected to the one space that remembers our oneness. So many teachings out there focus on liberating the mind and in that space we can even intellectualize our feelings!?!
The major self-work is liberation of the heart and our breath supports us heart-coherence.
The spirit of breath connects us with the aliveness and present moment like no other healing modality that I have experienced. It has exceeded my healing capacity far beyond the years of thinking my way out- working with the mind- talk therapy, creating mindset shifts, writing affirmations, and journaling (those are great tools but I needed more). I wanted to heal on a cellular level and I wanted my heart to experience actually loving + living for this short time we are here. I was ready and open to dancing with fear and more than ANYTHING I wanted to be FREE in my body so badly that nothing stood in my way. I was moving forward scared to death and full of courage and I needed support to witness my becoming. I found a caring community of angels dressed as humans to hold sacred space for my unfolding.
When I started learning breathwork in 2015, I would breathe with a partner and she would hold space for me and I for her- as our teachers observed. We did this for 3 1/2 years! My breath partners name is Tiffany and she has held some of the most sacred and vulnerable healing spaces for me. When I leave the planet she is on my list of people who I will never forget and has healed me in ways I can’t even explain!! She held my hand, she whispered “breathe cassie, breathe”! And created this heart coherent space for me to laugh, cry, stomp, yell, throw things, and enter into a space of altered consciousness that moved me from disconnection to reconnection.
This is HOW SACRED this work is.
Relearning how to breathe, breathing into my body, and allowing all of that tension and constricted energy to move changed everything about my life. I’m not joking! My anxiety decreased, I started taking up more space, stopped holding my breath, moved stuck energy that resided deeply in my trauma body. I got to practice being with the surrender for she who is my body needed to create new patterns of letting go of control and perfecting.
Everything changed and I could write a book on a collection of my experiences!! As no two sessions are the same.
I thank the Spirit of Breath, my amazing teachers, and my dear friend Tiffany who created safety and gentleness where my armor could fall off little by little.
I wanted to offer all of you an imaginary pause button. It is in the palm of your hand. You can see it as big or small and whatever color you'd like. When you push it, it will freeze-frame your life for a moment so you can check in with where you are today. You can even imagine me or someone else asking you "how are you doing?"
Then check in with your breath and see if you can take it a little deeper (letting your tummy stick way out!) As we notice our breath, we signal our brain to start to slow things down. This can be quite different than the lifestyles we live in a world that runs really busy and plays to our ice queen, toughen up, and push through it all life script.
So you can practice pushing pause...
Pausing to notice.
Pausing to scan all way to the feet.
Pausing to bring the awareness of this moment in time on October 22, 2021.
Pause and have a chat with your body...
As I breathe in, I honor you, my body. And as I breathe out, I give you a new sense of release + reset. As I breathe in, I hear what you need. As I breathe out, I give you permission to move or make a sound.
And when you are ready you can un-pause and come back...This is the story of our ability to create a new pattern + the beginning of noticing when we need to push pause. In a couple of weeks, I am offering a pause button to explore some different experiential practices to allow for your analytical + overthinking mind to take a vacation. At this time on the planet, the ability to move through things is very present and at a greater capacity, (so I know I want to take advantage of that!) but we have to slow down to make room for the connection to take place.
We are not taught how to slow down, so creating space by opening to new experiences already sets the ball rolling with your intention to do so.
There is something truly magical about October in Kansas. Growing up in a small town, fall had such nostalgic energy (and still does). It feels like it opens this portal to a direct connection to the child parts who were more connected to nature + open to change. For child me, it meant homecoming pep rallies, leaf piles, Halloween parades, and you finally get to wear the clothes you bought for back to school because it's finally cool enough for long sleeves + pants. For some of us, the child parts of us remember a simpler life and can breathe in the excitement of change that fall brings in.
"Simple" is my current mantra and it has been amazing how useful it has been to help me return home to myself. When I can feel myself accelerating or in chaotic energy I ask myself, "how can I make this simpler?" Oh, how our nervous systems like simple!! Especially those of us that are sensitive!! So, I ask you, how can you simplify your life? How can there be more space than there is now?
The biggest space makers I have found are:
1.) Working with boundaries and 2.) The act of releasing. I mean releasing anything that has a heaviness - old clothes, books, stored emotions :) anything that is hanging out and not moving energy. Those of you who are "sensors" know that "thud" of a feeling. Does it feel good to your body? When we open to "noticing" our lives change.
Holding space for your unfolding,
“Who am I?”
“What am I doing here?”
“I feel like I don’t belong here.”
“I have always felt like there is something big I am supposed to be doing here.”
These are the thoughts I hear the most from the women I work with. Being a highly sensitive woman in a world that has not been supportive of our natural strengths and abilities, forces us to armor up and seek control. I mean seriously...how else could we have made it in a not-so-sensitive world with parents who didn’t see our truth or in school systems that made us follow the leader and disengage our creativity? We got the wrong memos with a heaping side of deeply rooted & distorted ideas and visions about who we are. I think about it like we were toned down into a sepia filter when you should have been seen through a rainbow filter!!! So how do we turn the colorful lights back on?
I keep a set of beautiful stacking dolls on a shelf in my office as a reminder of how complex we really are. Every version & age of who you “be” lives within your body. Every moment of joy and every moment of pain. Every time your tender heart was broken and every time you were told your sensitivities were wrong. We have all the layers and stories swirling around in our subconscious and in our cells.
So where do we even begin? I have found that when we only shine the flashlight inside without significant support, it activates our inner army of protection. (That is partly why we feel like it is just too much! Because they have full control of not wanting things to send us over the edge.) I remember thinking often...what exactly am I scared of? When I realized that I had a cauldron full of fears, I could then start to see that some were mine, but many were my parents, and so many were inherited from a world full of memos that said I should always be scared.
Take a moment and look over your life story and see really what it has been like as a sensitive soul in the energy of fear. Our little nervous systems were not equipped for processing a world like this. So what did you do when it was too much? Most of us freeze our energy because it gives a sense of control and because of the times when we really gave space to our big feelings, we were often shamed for it. So we started young holding it in, gulping it down, turning off our lights. We learn to survive.
Please pause for some quick facts...as an HSP you are more affected by the subtleties of what the world news is saying, what horror movies are imprinting, and what your mom says is true, because she heard it from a friend. We carry fear differently than most do. We sense the layers behind the words. It is important for you to honor that it the truth of who we be.
So what am I scared of inside me? I have many different parts that are scared of being vulnerable, being hurt, exposed, finding a skeleton that I am not even aware of! But what I was really scared of was loosing control. There are stories enmeshed in my cells that say something is wrong with me, so much is wrong with the world around me, so it is just better to stay gripped to a sense of safety, however that looks for you. One of my teachers would then chime in here and say..."So, how is that working for you?" "How much life are you feeling from that place?" "How much of your soul gets to move through you when fear is driving the car?" "How does your body respond to always having to be in control?"
When we move around the inner furniture it shakes things loose that our minds tell us we don’t want to know, face, or express...because life is too much, we are too much, this is all too much...and what the mind doesn’t tell us as it avoids our inner hygiene because of it only overwhelming us, is that creating a new narrative actually frees us deeply to make more space for who we really are. It is like cleaning out the basement full of shit you don't need or want to hold onto anymore, so you can create a healing temple in that space instead.
We are complex- there is no doubt about that. We are relational, energetic, emotional, and physical- human transformers. When we are not connected to our emotions, we can not be connected to our little girls that live inside waiting to be seen, heard, and expressed. When fear is driving, we constrict our bodies, hold our breath, and we only have a fine line of availability to be with our Wise Self...our intuition. This innate wisdom & higher self version of who we truly are, she speaks simply, softly, strategically. Truth is clear & simple. The answers to who you are reside in the beautifully weaved, invisible garment that you are made of.
Your soul has waited all through out time to be here right now.
This space is dedicated to bringing all of us misfits and sensitive souls together. You may have the energy of a Lightworker, Healer, Old Soul, Empath, Indigo, or Starseed, and you are those with the burning passion to change the world!! I am here to tap on your door and support you in illuminating your gifts. When we attune to ourselves, there is a rippling vibration that affects everyone around us. So many of you are this light by just BEING who you are. But, so many of us don't know who we are because the world was not meant for us to shine our lights. As the earth turns on her lights, it is activating us to want to shine our lights even brighter. To become the natural born advocates of the heart that we truly are.
Together, I want to support you to create a new vision of who you really are. A journey of self-discovery into being and doing what you love. A new story line that consists of being deeply supported by a community of others who can relate to you. A tribal essence where we can be each others biggest fan, hold the torch for each others illumination and walk hand and heart forward to assist with the awakening that is happening on the planet.
When we don't fit into the box of society, we start contorting ourselves to be anything other than who we really and truly are. We armor up, break off, and lock up our gifts, just so we can "fit" or at least try to make an attempt to. Most of us were raised in systems that did not see us through the magical heart-shaped glasses of who we truly are. So, we learned early to make ourselves smaller and maybe even shut off to our gifts.
In this space, we get an opportunity to begin re-learning what it means for our souls to be in community. We are wired for it. We are also hard-wired for healing. We get the choice to re-write the story by EXPERIENCING our own truth, building inner-trust, and welcoming the innate wisdom that lies within us. When we are in the truth of our experiences, everyone is Illuminated! That is why community is so divinely sacred... Just like my teachers taught me, when one of us gets a healing, we all get a healing.
I want to support you in finding your healing tribe to walk beside in your journey. I invite you with an open heart, open mind and open arms...let's become better humans, because we are the ones carrying the torch lovelies! We are the the leaders of the heart. We are the beings moving the energy of the planet into harmony. The time is now. The world needs you to be who you truly are. So...Let's get to work :)
The sun is shining and things are sprouting. It feels good, doesn't it? There is a "waking-up" energy that is everywhere around us and speaks so much to the beauty of how the seasons unfold. Another word for unfolding is flowering- I just love that! We are ever-changing, flowering humans, and we are all dancing this dance of life.
Today is International Women's Day which turns the energy up even more! Feel it in your body!! What does it feel like to be part of a generation that is setting the stage for girls to dream and do it differently? It motivates me every day. I want to see a world where Women are being fully alive and true to who they are. No more staying small and hiding out. We need all of this feminine energy to change the larger energy, right now. I have a niece who is 18 and I can see already this huge shift in her that I didn't have when I was 18. She embraces herself so differently. She is okay with what makes her different and she shines with courage as she speaks. It gives me this hope that all of us that did not get the memo to be who we really are, get another chance, and we get as many chances as we need because there it is never too late to be more of who we really are. To do this we have to look at what stands in our way. Who told you who to be and what is still present in that for you today. So many of us didn't have support systems who were curious about our gifts. Most parents, teachers, and adults tell us what to be...Oh your good at this, you should be that...I know I thought well I am good at doing hair, so I guess I am a hairstylist. Then people said you are good at helping people, so I became a therapist. I never really asked myself what do I LOVE doing? I asked, "What am I good at?" Think about your story for a minute...what do you LOVE doing? And how much of that are you doing in your life right now?
The dance back home to who you truly are is the dance I love to do with people. These limiting memos about who we should be and the hustle to maintain it leads to an exhausting way of being. It sucks the joy right out of us. So many of us are living lives that don't align with our hearts and I want all of you to live a life on purpose! One that brings forth the magic of your gifts. You are the only you in all of time- you are an original.
What gifts do you have? So many of the empathic, intuitive women I support have this special quality of seeing things in "big picture". They have answers to big problems. They could change the world in an instant and do not understand why there has to be so much suffering when it seems so easy to change. It is heartbreaking to live in a world where there is so much pain and things are not fair. When we clearly see that all of the systems are outdated and the ways they can be fixed. When we sense the undertones of things going on around us. It is a tough place, this world we are living in because it was not created with the heart and growth in mind. And yet, it is opening to so many possibilities and I truly feel like we are here to change this energy.
The world needs more heart-centered leaders, healers, and entrepreneurs! I talk to people all the time about how we stepped into a box in elementary school that we spend the rest of our lives trying to get out of. Yet, there is still a little voice inside that knows this can not be it. What is the substance of life if we aren't fully living it?
I want to help you make your dreams come true. Dreams and wishes are in your DNA- when you light up it is because you love something- your entire being speaks. (You know that glow in the eyes that says this is me! This is why I am here!)
Peace, love, and flowering together,
Visionary for a New Kind of Earth